dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
