We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you win again, gameday.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
