How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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