Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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