i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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