I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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