Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
