What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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