Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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