you win again, gameday.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
