Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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