FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
