playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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