I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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