I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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