It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
