Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
