when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
