Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
