No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Panties = found
Randomize
