I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
