i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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