If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
