Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am midnight drunk by noon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
