These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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