sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
