the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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