They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have feelings that need drinking.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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