; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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