I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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