If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
