What a fucking waste of an outfit
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
