We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
