Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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