Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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