You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
