And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
