I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
