Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
