She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
