I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
