Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
