you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
