Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
