Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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