you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
