just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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