I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
