glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
