let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
