Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
