Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
