that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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