I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
