Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
