is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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