His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
