Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
