Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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